one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
