A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
