So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
