The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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