found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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