"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
