sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
