i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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