wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
