Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
