We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
