I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
