i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize