Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
