Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
