He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
