I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
