Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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