My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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