so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
