how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
