At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You need a sexual gate keeper
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
