Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
