I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wear drunk well.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
