i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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