Dual....:-)
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
