Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
