Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
