24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would ride that face into the sunset
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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