I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
