But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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