I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
