it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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