Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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