He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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