will power is for people who don't want to get laid
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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