508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
