You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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