I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
