I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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