Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The adults are the big ones right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
