another moral hangover. fuck.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
