This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
