Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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