a queef is a wish your heart makes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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