I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
