is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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