Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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