literally had 100 drinks last night.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
