also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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