had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
