At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
