My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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