Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
