Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
pray to the hookup gods
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
