He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just want to make out with him forever
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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