There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize