just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize