I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
