are you still at the devil's house?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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