Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
