i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't make out with my wife yet
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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