The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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