i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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