the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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