Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize